photo365: thirtytwo – thirtyeight

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february 1, 2010

Dear Green Coconut Curry chicken, you are delicious and I like the way you set my mouth on fire. Love, me.

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february 2, 2010

I got to be baker today. Along with two delicious Lemon Loafs, I made four batches of scones, and a batch of cookies. I need to bake at home more often.

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february 3, 2010

Shadow is silly. I love her.

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february 4, 2010

I’m so proud of my Daddy. He had the Grand Opening of Clatsop Coin tonight. He’s been the coin dealer in town for the past two years or so, but he didn’t have an actually store. Now he does and it looks so great!

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february 5, 2010

Ma Barley concert for Bob Marley’s birthday today. They always put on such a great show.

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february 6, 2010

A photo from a couple days ago that Tammy just sent me. I love Molly – she’s my second favorite Coffee Baby (Amelia is first favorite, obviously).

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february 7, 2010

It was BEAUTIFUL today! A bit chilly, since it’s February and all, but we had the back door of Coffee Girl open for the first time this year.

photo365: twentyfive – thirtyone

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january 25, 2010

I told Zetty I had my housing figured out for Seattle and when I was planning on heading up there. This was her response (both here and on the calendar). She really doesn’t want me to leave.

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january 26, 2010

Triple pour! Eirean showed us a triple pour when he was here last week and my milk was amazing all day so I decided to try one. I’m so glad he came down again – I feel like such a better barista compared to last week.

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january 27, 2010

I completely adore this Patagonia Capilene 4 The Explorer got me for Christmas. It’s so warm, but light weight and moveable.

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january 28, 2010

I wasn’t really feeling Frank’s case anymore, so I popped into AT&T today. How adorable is this one?

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january 29, 2010

Lithia Subaru called me yesterday to tell me the part I need was in. Only, not she discovered while on the phone. Decided that emailing her a picture of the exact piece I need might be the best idea.

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january 30, 2010

Skiing was awesome today. D and I went up by ourselves, so it was just us all day. I’m loving being on the mountain.

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january 31, 2010

I love sunsets here.

The scary stuff

It’s getting real now.
I’m moving to Seattle.

There’s such a huge part of me that cannot wait. That would drive up there tomorrow if it meant I could jump in with both feet now. If I could fast forward to who ever I’m “supposed” to be and become an adult and start life, I would. I wish I could get through all the hard and scary stuff so the fun stuff can start.
Decorating my apartment. Having friends over. Taking dance classes every second I can. Making awesome coffee. Getting into a company. Going shopping.
But, I have to get through the hard stuff first. You know, the leaving. The job hunting. The making friends. The hours of classes I have to take before I am any where near where I “should” be in my technique. The being broke. The things that, if I let myself sit and think about for too long, could paralyze me. What if I can’t get a job? What if I never make friends? What if I fail in Seattle the way I failed in Philadelphia? What if I never have what it takes to make it in the dance world? What if, what if, what if.

I always worry about the bad stuff, despite knowing its usually for no reason.
Someone from Caffe D’Arte came to our shop the other day for a training. He told us they’d hire anyone from Coffee Girl in a heartbeat. I got his name and number for when I move to Seattle and he said they’d find a shop for me to work at (either one of theirs or another that uses their beans).
I have a place to live when I head up to Seattle. I’ll be crashing at a friends house for a couple months. Then either she and I, or Kelsi and I, or all three of us, or just me will get an apartment up in Greenlake or Queen Anne. Beyond living at Lynne’s I don’t have a set plan. But, at least I have a place to live while I’m figuring it out.
I’m always terrified I won’t make friends. I think I used to be good at it, but somewhere along the line I lost it. Frankly, I blame high school. There were no more than 35 of us each year, so you were forced to be friends. I mean, I had great friends then, but because I never had to try to make friends, I think I forgot how. But I know I’ll make friends in Seattle. Hopefully reconnect with high school friends, though I know we’re all so different it won’t be the same. As long as I don’t let myself get stuck in my head too often, I will make friends.

Growing up is scary and terrifying and sometimes I’d really not have to do it.

Yet another blog post I start in one place and end up in quite another.

photo365: eighteen – twentyfour

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january 18, 2010

I’m so glad I started Christa’s gloves over. The first ones I knit the cabling on too small needles. These ones are a lot more comfortable, plus the color-wise is so much prettier on these.

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january 19, 2010

Thank you, Oregon, for letting me be lazy and vote by mail.

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january 20, 2010

Kitty in a bag!

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january 21, 2010

Eirean from Caffe D’Arte came down for a training today. It was good to go over basics again [note from future: I feel like my latte art and ability to pull shots has improved so much since Thursday!]. He called me “butch”, which made me laugh since he said I was “too butch” with my tamping last time as well. PLUS, he basically told me they’d find me a job at a Caffe D’Arte store when I get up to Seattle.

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january 22, 2010

D’s beard is getting a little “mountain man”-y, but it’s wonderful to run your fingers through. Spencer saw him petting it and had to join in the fun.

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january 23, 2010

It was gorgeous today. After work I wandered around the pier some – it was so peaceful! You could hear the water lapping and the birds flapping their wings.

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january 24, 2010

I’m sorry, Red Laser, but that UPC is for Sun Chips, not “Mens AE Canoeing Elf Boxer – Scottish Blue”.

The art moves through me

Washington Academy of Performing Arts recital, 2005

I have four favorite dance classes that stand out in my mind, and all have been ones where I’ve broken through some sort of barrier (mental or emotional).

My senior year of high school I took a jazz class with a handful of other musical theatre dance majors and one or two ballet majors (I went to a performing arts high school, so we had majors). It was taught by one of the younger teachers – I think he was 24?
After warming up, he taught us a combination he was working on (I think he used it in a piece he set on the ballet majors later that year). I can’t tell you a single thing about that combination, except I had the most perfect dance moment in my entire life while dancing it. The very last time through it, he had me and one of the ballet majors dance it. We pulled the curtains down over the mirrors and he told us not to pay attention to each other, just feel the dance and the music and each others energy. Something about it spoke to my spirit and it’s one of the only times I have every given 100% to anything. After we were done, he looked at the two of us and said we were in perfect unison. I was unaware of her while dancing, and vice versa. It’s moments like that that I dance.

Freshman year at college (as a dance major), I only had one class on Wednesdays. It was a modern class, in a style I had never taken before. We were doing a combo across the floor and I kept getting stuck in the same place and I couldn’t figure it out. The teacher mentioned it and I remember starting to cry. I was so frustrated with myself for not understanding it. I knew what it was supposed to be and I couldn’t get my body to do it.
The next time across the floor, no one else would step to the front of the line. I was annoyed with the students, as per usual, and with myself, and finally got in front. I remember thinking “I have to prove them wrong“. I’m not sure who I was proving anything to, but it was a very distinct thought. And you know what? I nailed it that time. It was like I finally got through whatever was keeping me from just doing it. I was so excited to make it through that – but then a week later I got injured and had to withdraw from classes for the rest of the semester (honestly, story of my life).

Sophomore year at college was a hard one for me, but there was one class first semester that was absolutely amazing. My Tuesday jazz class was taught by the artistic director of one of the main Philadelphia companies. We had class after the jazz majors, so the room was always sweaty, hot, and humid. Roni, the teacher, knew we all came from class, so would just start throwing steps at us from the moment we walked in the door.
This particular class, we worked on the same 4 counts of 8 for an hour and a half. He split us into groups and if I wasn’t on the floor dancing, I was on the side marking it. The second to last time my group went, I found myself losing steps. I told myself not to mark on the side before we went again, because I knew it was from over working them. I stood and really watched the other dancers. I felt the music and thought through the steps in my head, but I didn’t mark them. The last time my group went, I got it. It was fast and furious, but my body got it. As I walked to the side, one of the guys in my class (who was typically an ass to everyone he wasn’t friends with, myself included) said “You go, Katt!” I felt so empowered, because I knew I had done something on the dance floor.
Again, this would’ve been a huge turning point for me as a dancer, if I hadn’t gotten so depressed and dropped out of classes entirely a few months later.

After I dropped out and eventually moved home, I told myself I didn’t want to be a dancer. I told myself I was depressed because it wasn’t what I wanted to do. However, I still took an occasional class at my home studio, because honestly, I didn’t know what else to do. One day in the spring, I took a jazz class. My first in over a year. They were working on the recital piece, so I learned it in the back. The next week I took it again. One of the girls was missing, so the teacher had me stand in as her, for spacing purposes. I think she was just expecting me to mark or walk through it. I did the full dance, almost entirely full out, after learning it the week before.
It was like a light bulb went off in my head and I remembered how much I NEED to dance. My muscles knew what they were supposed to do, without me having to think about it. I think that’s the day my depression really started to lift.

Dance always has been and always will be the thing that keeps me sane. When I no longer have to think about anything other than the art. I think that’s why I love ballet so much. No matter where I go, barre will always be the same steps. I don’t have to think about what I’m supposed to do. I can let my body and my brain go and let the dance work through me.
Does that make sense? It’s not me doing plies and tendus and port de bras – it’s the art, doing those things through me.

photo365: eleven – seventeen

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january 11, 2010

Thank you, person who owned my car prior to me, for keeping things like battery warranties in the glove compartment.

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january 12, 2010

I like that Blind Pilot is perfect rainy day Astoria music.

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january 13, 2010

My Explorer and I at the Indian Food and IPAs Brewer’s Dinner at Fort George.

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january 14, 2010

I wasn’t feeling well when I came home from work and so immediately went to sleep. Shadow joined me, under the covers, for my nap. She’s snuggly.

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january 15, 2010

Scones! Tammy hit a wall about half way through her baking shift, so I finished the scones for her. [On the tray = cherry almond. In the blob = apricot lemon.]

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january 16, 2010

It was so beautiful on the slopes today. I beasted a run that I fell or slid down the past three or four times I’ve tried, so it was a very successful day.

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january 17, 2010

The best latte art of the day. I like that the crema is almost the same color as the saucer.

photo365: four – ten

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january 4, 2010

Look at my baby pony tail! The first since last spring!

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january 5, 2010

Man, I love the fog.

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january 6, 2010

This street/driveway is my favorite part of the walk home from D’s house.

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january 7, 2010

Some guy who “hadn’t been drinking” managed to hit my Dad’s [parked] truck today. He had to’ve hit it pretty straight on, since it’s only the door that is damaged. It makes horrid noises when you open and close it now.

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january 8, 2010

Oh iced Americano with a pump of caramel, how you are like crack to me.

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january 9, 2010

Upside to ridiculously busy days [read: $357 rang in 3 hours], is I come home with a purse full of money.

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january 10, 2010

I love the Coast Guard – they’re so bad ass. You can’t tell in the photo, but the Coast Guard buoy tender is moving – the helicopter has to move at the same pace so they person being picked up (or dropped off) is safe. They were just training today, but normally they’re picking guys up off the big cargo ships (the Coast Guard does all the customs and ship inspections for the ships coming into the U.S. via the Columbia River).

photo365: one – three

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january 1, 2010

Molly will be a Coffee Girl one of these days, I’m telling you.

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january 2, 2010

I’ve had my mug for a month now, but D just moved up 130 numbers(!). Our first pints in our matching mugs.

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january 3, 2010

T-Bone is silly.

Looking back on 2009

2008 was a hard year. It was a huge year of growth for me, but I wouldn’t want to go through it all again. I got through it and am better for it, but I was glad to start over in 2009.
And oh what a year ‘09 was. One of the best years I’ve ever had. After being depressed for a handful of years, it was amazing to be happy again.

January
- I started the new year in Philadelphia, at a party with my then boyfriend. I hung out with some friends from college while I was there and contemplated ending the relationship while I was in town. Needless to say, a rather bittersweet start to the year.
- Not long after I got home a customer from my coffee shop had a party at his house. The Explorer was living with him at the time, so we hung out and talked for a couple hours.
- D took me flying for the first time. It was amazing. I’ve always wanted to go up in a little plane, but never had the opportunity. We’ve gone a bunch of times since then and I adore it.
- At the beginning of the year, my plan was to go to University of Colorado Boulder. One night, after sending in my application, I realized I had no back-up plan. What if I didn’t get in? I had nothing to fall back on. And so, plans to move to Seattle began.

February
- D took off one weekend to go skiing at Mt. St. Helens – or so he thought. His car died and I had to go save him. About a week later we left town to go get his car. It was late and cold, we hit black ice and ended up backwards in a ditch – narrowly missing the on-coming car, the trees, a hill, and a massive sign. It was terrifying.
- After trying to hold on until after his senior recital, I ended things with my ex. It was beyond time, but I felt terrible all the same.
- My Mama and I spent a weekend in Seattle, visiting close friends and doing some shopping. It was wonderful. I love my Mama dearly and enjoy having just her and me time. While driving home, our 13 year old Subaru rolled over 200,000 miles – most of which were driving by Mama.
- My Boulder vs. Seattle debate was pretty much settled for me when Boulder told me they wouldn’t accept my high school transcript. Ah, the joys of going to a private high school that closed two weeks after graduating. I wanted to forego Boulder and move to Seattle anyway, I just didn’t want to make the decision myself.

March
- I got my tax return and used it to buy boots made of sexy. They’re the first pair of shoes I’ve ever spent triple digits on – totally worth it.
- My parents and I made a trip to Eastern Washington to visit family near the end of the month. The day we left it was raining here in town, we drove through snow going over the pass, and it was sunny and beautiful in the desert. It was good to see family again, but even better to get home to the coast.

April
- Through many ups and downs, cast changes, and thoughts of not doing it at all, a piece of mine was in the studios Young Choreographers Show. It wasn’t the best choreography I’ve ever done, and it definitely could’ve used a lot more cleaning, but it is what it is.
- My mister and I drove down to Eugene to see Yonder Mountain String Band in concert. It was awesome – I fell in love with bluegrass again.
- D told me he loves me. <3

May
- I received an email from the guy I graduated high school with. It was nice to catch up with him again, as he and I were once good friends. I’m terrible at keeping in contact with anyone, so it was nice that he thought to see what I was up to.
- I told my Explorer that I love him as well. <3
- For the first time I celebrated one year at a job. I love it just as much now, if not more, than I did when I got it.
- Had I not strayed from the path of “normal”, I would’ve graduated college in May. I thought I was going to have a really hard time that day, but surprisingly I felt great. It was a beautiful spring day, I woke up to kisses, and I was happy, which is more than I could say for a lot of people.

June
- And then I got injured. Two weeks before recital, I landed on the outside of my ankle and couldn’t dance. It was lame and I shouldn’t've danced in recital, but I had a solo and therefore kind of had to. It eventually got better.
- I realized just how happy I had become. The happiest in months, if not longer.
- For my birthday, my baby and I went to Crater Lake. He hadn’t ever been and I was seven the last time I saw it. It is absolutely breathtaking. Spectacular beauty. We are so lucky to live here.

July
- Because we love Fort George, we of course volunteered to work their 4th of July/Liberate the Ales bbq. We poured beer and served food for a couple hours, but were then left to our own devices. I finally figured out how to hula-hoop around my knees, which resulted in massive bruising on my pale Irish skin.
- I got new frames for the first time since my senior year of high school. It was weird getting used to my reflection after so many years of seeing the old ones, but I lovelovelove my new ones. Good choice on my part. =D
- Since I was so taken by Yonder and the other bluegrass he’s given me, my mister and I went down to Horning’s Hideout for the Northwest String Summit. A weekend camping in the woods with hundreds of other people, listening to fantastic music? I’m there! The weather was gorgeous the entire weekend. I can’t wait to go back next summer!
- July ended on a sad note, as my Explorer left to go caving in Montana for a month.

August
- Since my mister was underground all month, I spent a lot of time with friends, which was wonderful. I need to do that more often.
- I started this blog.
- One day my Mom came into the coffee shop and handed me an envelope. I was confused, as I’m not one to get mail. Then I saw the return address: somewhere in the Montana wilderness! I was so ecstatically happy, I wanted to just sit down in the middle of work and pour over it. I missed my Explorer so badly, it was amazing to get a letter from him.
- My coffee shop participated in a fundraiser for a local theatre company. We sold buttons with our pictures on them and auctioned off a basket of goodies. At the Shanghaied Ball, the winners were announced. Not only did my co-worker and I win Best Couple Costume (the mad-hatter and white rabbit), we also won Miss Virginia (the button contest).
- One night when I was missing D particularly bad, I wandered into my room and picked up my phone. I think I was checking for a text from him, even though I knew he was in the middle of the wilderness. And what did I find, but a voicemail from him! He and the other guy still out in the woods ran out of coffee and so came into town and decided to stay. My Explorer came out of the cave early and I couldn’t be happier! We made plans for me to fly to Missoula for Labor Day weekend and I started counting down the hours.

September
- September started with an approximately 25 minute flight from the coast to Portland, lunch with some friends, then flights onto Missoula. I hugged and kissed my mister for the first time all month. The next morning we woke up and rented a plane for the day. We flew over Glacier National Park (and possibly part of Canada), then drove through it and took impossibly adorable photos. We flew back to Missoula around 3am the next morning and hung out with D’s friends the next day.
- I climbed my first mountain! D has climbed most of the state high points, so we figured the county’s high point would be a good first for me. We made it to the top for sunset and it was amazing. Once the days get longer again, we’re going to make a habit of climbing it more often. Gotta prep me for Mt. Adams or Mt. Hood this year!

October
- We made a trip into Portland to see Old Crowe Medicine Show. They were fantastic. A week or so later I saw Blind Pilot in concert here in town.
- Warren Miller’s newest ski movie played in Portland, so of course we went. D couldn’t wait to get out on the slopes again and it got me totally jazzed to learn how to ski.
- My mister did a slideshow about his caving trip at Fort George. He’s so cute when he talks about things he loves.
- Halloween this year was great. I made some awesome Halloween-y lattes at work, then partied the night away at Fort George’s Zombie Jamboree.

November
- Mt. Hood Meadow’s opened early this year, so I learned how to ski before Thanksgiving!

December
- We went skiing a couple more times in December. I can’t wait until we go again in a couple weeks. I’ve always wanted to ski and I’m having a blast.
- I made these Joy The Baker cinnamon rolls for Christmas morning. Oh my goodness, I have never made something that delicious before. I told my Mom I wanted to be wrapped in it’s cream cheese-y deliciousness when I die.
- After seeing this mac&cheese on The Pioneer Woman, my Mama and I decided it was necessary to make it ourselves. I could’ve om-nomed the entire pan if I didn’t need to share it.

Today is the last day of the year, of the century(!), and I almost can’t believe it. So many wonderful things have happened this year. I’ve grown so much as a person. It’s been amazing.
Here’s hoping 2010 is half as amazing as 2009 was.

Dance gripes

I am not one who gets exercised about things easily. I tend to keep my opinions to myself and only share my frustrations in small doses with the people I love. I figure there’s enough strife in the world already, why add my silly dissatisfactions to the mix?

However, I could rant for hours about the things I’m passionate about.
Namely, dance.

Moving as often as I have, I’ve trained at a lot of studios. I’ve taken classes from more teachers than I could name, more than I can remember. I know what type of class I like and what type I don’t. I know what type of teachers I respect and those I absolutely do not. I know these things and I have very definite opinions on the matter.

One of the things I hate most when taking class is seeing dancers who have such great potential that isn’t being fostered. Either because the studio space is too small and therefore classes are over crowded or because bad habits have been allowed to foster (it is so hard to change bad habits after a number of years – they say it takes seven times longer to unlearn something, so if you’ve raised your hip while développé-ing for 10 years, it’s going to take a while to figure out how to do it correctly). There are a million reasons why a students potential might not be fostered and frankly, I think it’s one of the worst things that can happen to a dancer – and their studio.

I love my studio. It was my very first one, back when I was cute and little and didn’t know how to pointe my feet. I will always love my studio because it’s where I fell in love with dance. It’s why I’m a dancer today.
However, some where between then and now, either teachers have gone soft or students stopped paying attention. Something horrible has happened and it hurts me to see students with great potential that isn’t being fostered. It hurts me to seeing a great class, filled with students who don’t seem to care. My Mom blames it on the generation of students that came after me – that they haven’t been taught how to respect authority in general and therefore don’t respect their dance teachers.

I think that’s what I hate more than un-fostered talent, the lack of respect.
I understand that not all people in class aim to make it in the dance world. And I think that’s great! I think everyone should dance. But for goodness sake, be mindful of others in class.
Dance is an art and should be treated as such. By taking a dance class, you are following a long lineage of greats who deserve to be respected. Once you step into the studio, you need to respect your teacher, your classmates, yourself (because why take class if you aren’t going to take it seriously? It’s a waste of your time!), and most of all, respect the art.
There are a number of things that show respect for the class, from keeping extraneous talking to a minimum to not leaning on the barre while waiting your turn. Small things that may not seem like much at the time but add up to a big mess of a class when everyone is talking about homework and weekend plans while sprawled across the barres.
It’s basic, common sense and it drives me batty when kids don’t seem to understand that. But, when teachers have allowed to bad habits to form, it’s almost impossible to break students of it. Which is unfortunate, because then the younger kids see the “senior” students act a certain way and figure it’s okay. And if a student can’t seem to grasp the concept of respect, there is no way they’ll grasp that they’re setting a bad example.

This months Dance Magazine has a great article on révérance (December 2009, pg 86) that touches on a lot of the same thoughts. I was always taught to bow to the teacher (and accompanist if there is one) at the end of class. They pour so much into class, it’s only fair to show your thanks and appreciation for their hard work. At my studio in Virginia, the teachers always led us through a traditional révérance, basic port de bras and a bow, at the end of each class. In addition to that, we were expected to thank our teacher as well – for the youngest students it was part of their class and it held all the way through the company members.

Beyond the actual movement of révérance, many teachers appreciate its built-in etiquette. “As educators we sometimes get so caught up in teaching technique, we might forget that courtesy is part of ballet too,” says Kee-Juan Han [director of The Washington School of Ballet]. “However you do révérance – with or without music – it teaches kids manners.” In particular, Han makes sure his students always bow to the pianist. “A wonderful pianist plays the ideal music to accompany the exercises, helping students develop their craft,” he says. “Quite often I also elicit the help of our pianist to teach music to the class, so I feel students have to thank them.”

[I started this blog post nearly a month ago and have completely lost where I was going with it. In short: respect your teachers and the art form. Also, don't wear parka's to ballet class.]