Life, sickness, and ice cream

I’ve been thinking a lot recently about living my life to the fullest. We are here for such a short amount of time, it’s a shame not to make the most of life.

We’ve had a string of really beautiful days in Seattle recently. 90+* days, glorious sunshine, amazing nights. Perfect get out and do something kind of weather. The outdoors calls my name on gorgeous days.
So what was I doing on Saturday morning/early afternoon?
I was inside, lamenting the fact that The Explorer was in Oakridge with his Mom. I wanted to go on a hike and I wanted my hiking buddies. It was pathetic – I had a Seattle hiking guide out in front of me, a gorgeous day waiting for me, and I was in my dark room basically refusing to do something on my own. Around 1:30 I thought about taking a nap (because I had worked so hard already, not hiking and all) and instead slapped myself.

What was I going to gain by sitting inside all day? How was my life going to improve by watching tv, napping, and mindlessly surfing the internet? It was pointless!
So I got dressed, grabbed a book, water, and some grapes to munch, found my sunglasses, and off I went! While I did not going on a “hike”, I did do my new favorite 6.5 mile walk: from the house to the park, where I sat and read for a bit, the park to the brewery, where I had a salad and beer, then back to the house (I added a stop at Baskin-Robins because ice cream is delicious and it was hot!).
And you know what? I felt great! I may not have gone some place new and I wasn’t reading a new book, but my soul woke up a little. I gave my body exercise, I fed my body delicious grapes and salad, I nourished my mind with a book that always makes me think (Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert), and I didn’t throw myself a pity party.

The Explorer’s Mom is sick.
She was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer a couple weeks ago.
My heart breaks for my love nearly every day. I wish Barbara weren’t sick and I wish D didn’t have to go through this. I hate being away from him, especially now when he needs me most. I burst into tears if I sit and think about it all for too long.
I felt (and still feel) so selfish, those first couple of days after we found out. His Mom is sick and I was grieving for the future. I’ve looked forward to Barbara being my Mother-in-Law for a while now. I’ve looked forward to her meeting our blue eyed babies since we met.
I’m praying for a miracle and I hope you will as well.

All this just to lead back to my first point: living life to its fullest.
We’ve both spent the past two weeks re-evaluating life and whats important. Re-resolving to eat better and take better care of ourselves, because this is the only life we have. I want to stay as healthy as I can for as long as I can. And I don’t want to have to live a day without my Explorer, so he has to take care of himself too!
I look forward to moving closer to where I work so I can walk (instead of spending an hour in traffic each day). I can’t wait until I’m buying my own groceries so I can pay more attention to what I put in my body. I’m going to start meeting people who hike and do things out doors (I know I’ve said that before, but this time I’m really serious about it).
I am going to start being conscious of the decisions I make and evaluate each one to determine if it will take me towards my goal of happiness or not. Why make decisions that won’t take you closer to who or where you want to be? LIFE IS TOO SHORT!

We spent the 4th of July with D’s family in Eugene. It was the first time I had seen all three of the boys together and the first time I met the kids (Fish – age 5, Ike – age 2 1/2, and Elsie – age 1 1/2). I fell so in love with those kids (but really, is that a surprise? I adore children!) and had such a good time with family. It was so wonderful, feeling like I belonged with the family. I’m looking forward to joining them in the future.
This upcoming weekend Barbara, D, and I are going camping. I am so looking forward to it! One of the things I definitely wanted to do this summer was camp with D’s Mom, so I’m glad she’s feeling okay enough to venture out with us. We’ll have three dogs with us (Teewinot, of course, plus Willow and Booger), so I’ll basically be in heaven.

It is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else’s life with perfection
-The Bhagavad Gita

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