My first love. My true love. My life blood.
It’s amazing how long I go between classes sometimes. I feel more myself and more at home in a dance studio doing plies and tendus than I do almost anywhere and yet, I’ll go months between classes. Literally, the last ballet class I took was at Westlake with Julian, back in June.
Sometime during our first week in town, The Explorer and I discovered a dance studio not far from the house. Since my audition is coming up at the end of the month (20 days!), I declared that while he was gone I was going to take at least one class a week.
For various and a sundry reasons, that didn’t happen. Plus, I was out of town in Seattle for a week.
But! Yesterday, I finally went to class. I called them on Monday and asked about drop-in rates and the person who answered the phone clearly thought I was crazy. I left my name and number and requested a call back with the answer. I didn’t hear anything, so I decided I’d just show up for class on Tuesday. I misread the schedule online and showed up at 4:30. The person running the front desk (I’m assuming the same person who seemed confused by the concept of “drop-in”) told me I could most probably take class, but to talk to the teacher before hand. Failing to mention that the class I was looking for didn’t start until 6:30….Thankfully another teacher was there and saved me. I went back to the house for a bit, then came back and took class. It was AWESOME.
It’s sad that I can say this, but it’s such a relief when I take class at a studio that clearly teaches good technique from the very beginning. You can tell so much about a studio and their teachers from barre. Plus, the students were all so welcoming and nice (which can be rare in small studios, especially when a random 24 year old comes to take class). Basically, Ballet Bitterroot is the ideal small-town studio.
I took class again tonight and I’m super proud of myself for that. It’s been even longer since I’ve taken ballet two days in a row, or even ballet twice a week.
I hate that I’m so lazy.
I’ve always been the person whose gotten away with it. Didn’t practice for piano? Get praised for how improved I am. Didn’t study for a test? Get the highest grade. Never rehearse outside of rehearsal? Am made the example of what everyone should do. Don’t take class for 8 months? Nail a triple pirouette first try.
I hate it. It sucks.
I’ve always said that I’d rather fail because I didn’t try than try my hardest and still fail. Which isn’t the case in this instance, but it’s close. Or maybe it is. I don’t know.
I could’ve made it big. I could’ve been a really amazing dancer. I could’ve made it into major professional companies. But I’m lazy. That’s the truth and there’s no two ways about it. I am lazy. I’m good – I’m really good. But I’m ridiculously lazy.
However, I’m taking this opportunity to change all of this. I am going back to school and I’m going to change my work habits. I’m going to take class as often as possible between now and then. I’m going to try my hardest to, before we travel to new towns for various adventures, research the studios and take a class while on the road. I am going to make the most of the new opportunities presented to me.
I have a clear advantage over all my future classmates: I will be 25. I will have done the typical party college thing. I will know what I want from life and from my dance career. I won’t be partying. I won’t be trying to find a boyfriend. I won’t be doing the college thing just because it’s what I’m “supposed” to do.
My audition is in 20 days. Between now and then, there are seven advanced ballet classes at the studio. I think Daryl, Nick, and I are planning a several day trip this up coming weekend, so I probably won’t be able to take class next Monday, but it is my goal to take five classes between now and then. And the head of the dance department at University of Montana invited me to take a modern class before the audition, so on Friday I shall visit again and find out when class is so I can take that as well.
I have been given a second chance at college. And I will make the most of it. Because I am a talented dancer and I do myself such a great disservice by not taking advantage of the opportunities presented to me. No more.